OH HAI

!

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 06:17:38 GMT

john and i are officially engaged :D
he proposed to me tonight and even got down on one knee!
he wrapped the little box into bigger and bigger boxes and it was awesome! i am too excited for words!

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:47:09 GMT

I'm going to pretend for just one minute that I care. That I care to pretend to care.
I wanted to hold you close to my nose and smell your vile breath. I wanted to touch only your shoulders and squeeze into your collar bone. To leave a mold and come back to it later, so that I can cast a shadow of my hands on you.
However, there is no skin there. I see yourself falling away from me. It's into the bowels of the earth. I saw magma, I saw lava, I saw bright orange skin. I pressed my nose against the ground and folded my body against your wind.
Only if for a second I can pretend this is all happening. Even if you are just sitting there, talking to me as you do. I hear you talk about video games. I hear you talk about past casualties that you pretended to commit. I reach out to you so I can touch your strands of hair, but you looked at me. I freeze in your winter's grasp and I whimper a word or two. I cover it up with dirt and pat it on the ground. You wonder at me. I wonder at you.
If only it wasn't a game. If only this was all true, then I can suggest a rhyme and we can dance under the flames of the sun. By the beach, there's a bonfire going and we scream about God - but only until we collapse into the waves and spread ourselves thin.
We soon forget about it all, and I find myself pretending again. Only this time I am a warrior and I cast evil shadows around your throat. I grab your shoulders so that I know what it is like to feel.
I wanted to devour your gaze. So, I pretended to care about all your sayings and your so-called-whitty nuances.Igather those words I once buried. I wrap my arms around my sides.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 07:37:52 GMT

sometimes i wish i was the quiet type so people didn't know how stupid/socially awkward i am

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:55:51 GMT

A friend of mine that I used to talk to and occasionally hang out with from USF was just currently saved and accepted Christ in his life.

I am so excited! It's like as soon as I feel like there is no hope for these people...and that I feel as though so few ever get saved or accept Christ, and that I give up on humanity...God reaches down and lets my bear witness to what His great power.
How amazing.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:55:38 GMT

I always wonder why people who are agnostic/athiest still ask for prayer during dire situations.
I've done it, yet then totally disregarded it afterwards. [when I was athiest/agnostic]

As I look back on it, or when I have friends nowadays asking for it-It's just interesting. I wish I could handle it better though with my friends.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:20:57 GMT

senior thesis:
interpretation of god's beauty in the eye of man
what i find most beautiful
yet tie that into glorifying god...

hard,maybe

must perfect form and the elusive color exchange within it

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 06:02:07 GMT

i'm ready >;o

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 03:19:57 GMT

Art classes are kicking my ass this year

...about time, too.

So far, I really am happy to be in painting the most. But once I get the intermediate drawings out of the way [3 more after this semester..ugh] then advance drawing is supposed to be AMAZING.

So I am excited...

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 05:50:40 GMT

Oh, the narrow path.

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:45:43 GMT

Hey, Sorry for hurting anyone's feelings from my last entry. I honestly didn't mean to, I forget that my lj entries are for the world to see sometimes...
I need to watch that.

Alex was an awesome guy and none of us will forget that.
I didn't mean other wise.

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 02:52:24 GMT

Welll...I feel pretty bitter about Sagat winning that tournament...
Maybe because I wanted John to win..lol xD

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 02:42:40 GMT

i like john's bum

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 19:55:17 GMT

I really feel like I am going to screw everything up :(

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 04:34:43 GMT

2 weeks till 6 months!
omg :D

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 13:08:16 GMT

I had such a weird dream
I was in an art class and these people wanted me to draw some chick descending into some water, and it was looking okay I guess but then someone came and ruined it and then I had to draw this chick I know naked while she was in such weird sexual positions with a guy, who was not her boyfriend, and I got VERY uncomfortable and just drew her face..only part of it. Everyone thought it was okay.
Then everyone started to do weird shit and thought it was weird that I was doing normal stuff. I freaked out and got in the middle of the crowd and started to yell at them claiming that I already drew with my blood and now I want to be normal and I am tired of all this freaky shit they are doing.

Then I went to work out and my grandma told me that if I really wanted to lose weight that I couldn't unless I did some more hardcore crap and that she lost more weight than me. I give up.

I tried to go to the bathroom and I couldn't find the girl's room and kept ending up in the boy's bathroom. I just wanted to pull my teeth out, because they were falling out. Apparantly I had a layer of something on them [almost like braces] and I wanted to pull them off because they were ruined and I felt like that was why everyone was treated me like I was lucky. The weird thing is, is that those teeth I was pulling off didn't have a gap, and I felt uncomfortable because I wanted a gap in my teeth...weird.
Then I wake up..woo.

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 03:21:55 GMT

I can already tell I am going to absolutely love my new job. My managers are AMAZING, and the job is AMAZING
I just need to stop being such a n00b.

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 05:24:33 GMT

Hmmm. I just read a very good posing argumentative question right now:

"Whats better in the eyes of the church? Sinners who get married, or non-believers who get married?"

[in response to a Gay Marriage discussion]

In other words, if the government bans gay marriage, due to religious issues, shouldn't that mean atheists/non-religious be banned from getting married too?

Unfortunately, I don't have an answer and I don't think anyone could really have an answer.
Hmm..

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 23:31:43 GMT

I decided! I am going to minor in English as a back up plan. That way, I will have more than just art on my resume.

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:48:52 GMT

Imagine, in one perfect [yet simultaneous] moment it can all be over. I can almost hold onto my breath and see, in glory, the vast clouds and openings in that fog.
I can almost eat it and taste it. I think it will taste like chocolate and peanut butter.
My shirt won't be on tight anymore and my pants will stop falling down.
My butt crack won't show, either.

I will button up my shirt with the first button open. I refuse to be choked by corporation.
[Not to be confused with cooperation]

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:57:52 GMT

Starting July 24th, I won't ever have to work at CVS again.

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:03:05 GMT

I think John secretly wants me to get fatter...lol

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 05:16:40 GMT

Do you want to know how I know that my faith is real?

This may seem kinda lame to most people, but sometimes when I pray I like to open my eyes and look around. Especially during caregroup. My care group leaders are amazing. Tonight during prayer, I looked up and I just looked around. I listened to Pete's words and I looked at him- he was standing on his feet with his arms stretched out. His glasses were on and his head was tilted upward as if he could see the most beautiful picture in his entire life. His wife, Denise, had her face downward at the floor with her eyes clenched as if she was trying to keep a picture still in her mind. I look up to these two people. When I talk to them about God and my faith it's like they are my elixir that fills up my PP-yeah, like in pokemon. I make that reference, because when you feel like you are out of moves and all you can do is struggle, you need that elixir during battle. Then they help me look towards the cross, which is like my pokecenter. I go to God and he heals me. He takes my pain and my anxiety and makes them disappear.
Not the most accurate metaphor, but I am feeling pretty lame right now so I thought hey, why not go for it, yknow?
But anyway,
I saw this grown man get teary eye and a a tear actually ran down his face mid-prayer.
At that moment, I just felt overcome by emotion. My heart sank. I closed my eyes and I didn't even think. I just basked in that moment.

Sometimes, you don't need to know the facts of life and the facts of the Bible to have faith.
It's like I saw the bigger picture. All my worries about work, friends, anxieties and pain, just didn't matter.

"Faith is perceiving the world through God's eyes"- Atfirst, Pete, I didn't understand what exactly what you meant. Yeah, I must agree that faith isn't just "Believing really hard". Faith is seeing the bigger purpose through God's will. God's just will.

That's how I know that I have faith.

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:19:33 GMT

I might get an interview!!!!

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:32:33 GMT

i may potentially, i must emphasize the "may", be able to quit cvs

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 12:57:18 GMT

I like how all the famous celebrities die around my birthday.

Oh wait,
No I don't.

:|
:(